Cold Turkey

Welcome back! I hope you all have had a great week and are keeping warm! It is fall in Tennessee, right? I keep expecting to look up to the sky only to be hit in the eye with a snowflake. At this point in my plan to quit smoking, today would be day 7. I should have had only 4 cigarettes today. That didn't happen. So, even though I am usually quite the stickler when it comes to my plans, I'm going to have to try Plan C. Plan A, just tapering off of them on my own didn't happen. Plan B, setting an actual schedule to wean off of them didn't happen. On to Plan C. Cold Turkey. I'm determined to quit, but this is so much harder than I thought it would be! It's not even so much that I crave cigarettes. It's the rituals, if you will. I smoke while I drive to and from work. I smoke after a meal. I smoke after I shower. I smoke while playing Candy Crush for a ridiculously long time.  I've got 11 cigs left as we speak. The pack that I have now will be the last pack I ever purchase. In order to help me fight the habit, I've purchased these sugar free goodies.

Someone, who shall remain anonymous, has discovered my stash...

If going cold turkey doesn't work, I will move on to Plans D-Z. I did the math this week. By kicking the habit I will save approximately $85 a month. That is $1,000 a year! Holy savings, Batman! My health and my wallet cannot afford to take this any longer. Any tips from you all are welcomed and appreciated!

For the past few weeks I have been working like a mad woman. I've been putting in 55-60 hours a week. I've done this before with previous jobs, but those jobs were not third shift. Working 6:30PM-6:30AM is no joke!  That being said, I also have yet to join Planet Fitness. I've worked 3 out of the last 4 Saturdays. I'm off tonight, so I took today to get my weekly meal planning and grocery shopping finished, along with catching up on cleaning around the apartment. I've still been hopping on the elliptical throughout the week, but I'm hoping to join the gym soon!

Speaking of meal planning, that is something that has really helped me stick to my diet. By writing out what I'm making for dinner each day of the week, I avoid the urge to run to McDonald's or order a pizza and cheesy bread from Papa John's. I've got to give mad props to Matt for being the best guinea pig I could ask for! He's tried everything that I have cooked. With the exception of a Mexican dish made with whole wheat tortillas ("These things taste like newspaper..."), he's liked, or at least pretended to like, all of the dishes I've had him try. I decide what to keep in rotation by how rapidly the leftovers disappear! 

Friday, aka "Eat Whatever I Want" day, was glorious this week. I don't cook on Friday, so we hit up Rice Box. If you haven't tried it yet, you're missing out! It's not quite up to par with Ichiban, but it beats the pants off of Little Tokyo. It's located in the Bi-Lo shopping center in the Rivermont area. I had 3 rolls of sushi. I divulged in a Philadelphia roll, a spicy shrimp roll, and a crunchy crab roll. They were divine! As I was going to town on the rolls, I realized they weren't terrible for me. None of them were fried or drizzled with mayo based sauces. I can't say that the 2 pieces of Cho-Cho chicken were good for me, but boy were they good. I also made sure to squeeze in 2 caramel apple cookies that my sweet friend, Kim, brought to me. Before I knew it, Saturday morning was upon me and we all know what the means. Scale time! This morning I weighed in at 251 lbs! That's 3 lbs for the week and 16 lbs since I began my journey! I'm so close to the other side of 250 that I can taste it! I have to lose 51 lbs to reach my ultimate goal of 199 lbs by June 18th. At this rate, I'll be there by March! 

A few of you have reached out to me and said that I have inspired you. I can be a pretty tough cookie, but my heart absolutely melts when I hear or read what my story has done for you. I've said from the get go, and I will continue to say it, that if this blog can help motivate just one person, I will have accomplished more than I ever intended. Thank you to each and every one of you for keeping up with me and sending me words of love, support, and advice. I leave you with my super awkward selfie of the week! Until next time...

Bathroom cleaning is on tomorrow's agenda...

If At First You Don't Succeed

Try, try again...That is what I must do. I'm sorry to report that giving up the cigarettes was a bust this past week. I could try to use working 60 hours as an excuse, but there is no valid excuse besides not trying hard enough. My ultimate mistake was not having a game plan. I thought that just telling myself that I would wean off of them would work. No ma'am, Pam. I'm a planner! So, here's my master plan. Tomorrow I will smoke 10 cigarettes. That's actually more than I normally smoke on a work day. The following day I will smoke 9. The day after that I will smoke 8, and so on and so on, until I'm down to 0. Following that game plan should have me smoke free by October 30th. My lungs and my wallet look forward to it! 

Let me tell you, there is nothing like seeing someone for the first time in weeks and having them tell you that they can tell you've lost weight. Matt and my coworkers see me on a regular basis, so it will take a little more time for them to have a *WOW* moment. Along with the compliments and encouragement come questions. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it when people ask me what I'm doing to drop the weight. Like I said when I started this blog, if I can motivate even just one of my family or friends with my experience then I will be over the moon! "What is your secret?", is the question that always makes me laugh a little. There is no secret. It's a dash of motivation and a pinch of common sense. As we learned from Morpheus up there, diet and exercise are enough. The better I get with managing what I'm eating, the more I long for the gym. The workout room at work is so convenient and FREE. However, it's becoming a little too limiting. I've done a little bit of research and I've decided that sometime next week I'll be joining Planet Fitness! I'm so excited to get in there and bust my tail! Hopping on the elliptical while on break a few times a week has really helped me get my feet wet, but the time has come for me to dive in and transform my body. 

I know you're all dying to know what I splurged on yesterday. Although Matt has declared that Friday is now "Chinese Friday", I had a major hankering for some Mexican. I had more than my fair share of queso and chips and about a third of my taco salad from Amigo. The meats in the taco salad were bland and the whole thing was overall disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I still love Amigo was more than one should, that just wasn't the best item that I've tried over the years. Later I indulged in a Little Debbie and that made up for the lousy dinner. I do think it's time for me to cut my cheat days down to every other Friday. While I was chowing down on the queso I was secretly dreaming of squash and zucchini. I take that as a sign that I'm slowly but surely making a lifestyle change and not just dieting! Yay! 

As usual, I assumed that I would be paying a terrible price for my Mexican when I got on the scale this morning. The result? I weighed in at 254, down 2 lbs from last week. That's a grand total of 14 lbs! I'm pretty proud of myself, but I can't wait to be on the other side of 250! I have an app on my iPhone, Weight Diary Free, that has helped me keep track of my weight on a weekly basis, and it also asked for my goal, and calculates my trends. According to it, at the rate I'm going, I should reach my goal of 199 lbs in 4 and a half months! If I reach my goal before my 30th birthday, then I'll just have to set another one, won't I? I leave you all with the awkward mirror selfie and all of my love! Until next time...

My Not So Secret Dirty Little Secret

Yup, that's my not so secret dirty little secret. I'm a smoker. To some of you this is not news, to others this is a shock. I do my best to avoid smelling like an ashtray. When I revealed that I smoked to some coworkers recently, they couldn't believe it because they never smell it on me. I've been smoking regularly for the last 6 or 7 years. I cannot believe I've had such a nasty habit for so long. I wouldn't say that I'm a heavy smoker. I might smoke half of a pack a day, if that. That fact makes it so much more clear to me that I can quit! McKee has a smoke free campus, so on those nights that I work 12 hours, I don't hide in my car (like some people!) or use my break time to drive around for a fix. That's 12 hours smoke free. Factor in anywhere from 6-8 hours of sleep, and that's up to 20 hours smoke free...HELLO, LAUREN! That is almost a full day that I'm not smoking. Every smoker knows that they need to quit. I dare you to find a smoker that is stunned when you say, "Hey, you know that's bad for you, right?". Shout out to my dad who I know is reading this with a HUGE grin on his face. He's done everything from telling me stories about yucky lungs he's seen on line, to giving me pamphlets, and offering to help me pay for Nicorette. It only makes sense for me to quit now. I know that they say with quitting comes weight gain. That's ok. How much of a moron am I to bust my tail on an elliptical machine, only to have a cigarette on the drive home 30 minutes later? My time to quit is now. I won't be quitting cold turkey or using any products. I'm hoping that tapering off will work for me. My goal is to be smoke free by this time next week. I have too much to live for! I don't want my niece, my friends' children, or my stepdaughter to eventually know me as the lady that stinks, coughs a lot, has funny lines around her mouth, and sounds like a bullfrog! With that said, I apologize in advance to anyone that encounters me over the next few weeks. If I'm raging bee-otch, just know that it is for the best! I wonder how long I can use that as an excuse...

Let's move on, shall we? I did my weekly grocery shopping today and I couldn't help but smile when I realized that I had spent 10 minutes in the produce area. You've heard the expression "like a kid in a candy store" before? That's how I felt! Now I want you to say, "like a Lauren in the produce aisle"! I didn't even step foot into the aisles that were normally home, like the ones that house Doritos and frozen pizzas. I did need some dairy products and what do you know? Bi-Lo has Mayfield ice cream on BOGO! I can't lie, that was a hard bargain to pass up! I've never had much of a sweet tooth, but I do love ice cream...

I think I'm finally getting the groove of healthy cooking. I look back now at all of the times that I relied on Lean Cuisine to help me get weight off and I shudder. You mean I can have a big ol' homemade meal using fresh ingredients instead of 10 bites of freezer burned pasta? YES! I can't really blame myself for the past though. I probably still would've assumed that the microwave meals were my best route if I didn't love feeding my handsome hubby! I don't want this blog to turn into a "here's what I ate this week" diary, so if you aren't already following my "Grub" page on Pinterest, then I am ashamed and you should get on that pronto! Most of the meals that I've made since I've started my journey I have pinned. For those of you not on Pinterest, hopefully this link will work: http://www.pinterest.com/lauren61821/grub/ Tread lightly, if you go back too far you will drift into dark waters where there are recipes for Nutella Cheesecake and Potato Bacon Casserole....

And now, the moment you have all been waiting for...time for weigh in results! Yesterday was my cheat day, which apparently is now Chinese Friday, according to Matt. I slept for most of the day (remember, I'm a third shifter!), so dinner was my one meal for the day. I had 2 spring rolls, fried dumplings, and about half of my General Tso's chicken and fried rice. Later my sweet tooth kicked in for the first time in a while and I had not 1, but 2 honey buns. And I might have licked my fingers afterwards. Maybe. I'll never tell. So this morning I get up and expect to see that I've lost a pound or 2. Alas, the number looking back at me was 256. Whaaaaat?!?!? I reached for my glasses, and yup, 256 lbs, down from 261 last week. 5 down, 57 to reach my ultimate goal of weighing less than 200 lbs by my 30th birthday, June 18th. Put it on your calendars, folks! Once again, I cannot close out this entry without thanking each and every one of you for reading my blog and supporting me. Anytime that I have thought about giving up, I think about you! I can't let any of you down, but ultimately I can't let myself down. I love you all! Oh yes...here's the obligatory "mirror selfie"...I had to add another pic below this one so I can look back on it and see how ridiculous look...

I don't know why I'm making that face, but it cracks me up every time I look at it...

Yup, this is not a good look...

Back In The Saddle Again

That's right, I'm back in the saddle again! It sure wasn't easy. After blowing it last week, and indulging in the new Peanut Butter Creme Pies at work (OMG, 400 calories?!), I hopped back on the elliptical and haven't looked back! One thing that has been tough is constantly reminding myself that this is a lifestyle change and not a crash diet. For years I was so used to busting my tail in the gym and watching every bite I eat, so that when the time to weigh in came I would see that I had dropped a minimum of 5 pounds every week. Obviously that doesn't work or you wouldn't be reading this now, would ya? A few of you have asked me what I'm doing for my diet. I'm not doing any kind of program, such as Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem. Again, I'm trying to make a lifestyle change. I do think that Weight Watchers is a fantastic program for steadily getting weight off, but I'm terribly impatient and I know that constantly weighing, measuring, or counting points would drive me bat crap crazy! For me it comes down to common sense. I've cut the soft drinks, fried foods, chips (even the baked!), and sweets. I try to cook dinner most nights. Tonight I made "Skinny" Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas that were quite scrumptious! I work third shift, so my "lunch" is at 11:30PM. I usually take leftovers or low carb whole wheat wrap. I've also been taking fruits to snack on to deter me from the Little Debbies! Fortunately, McKee also manufactures the Sunbelt products so occasionally I'll have an Oats and Honey or Oatmeal Raisin granola bar.  

I was about to throw in the towel on the healthy cooking and subject Matt and myself to multiple nights of baked chicken and green beans. A couple of you have suggested different websites to find recipes. One of those was skinnymom.com. The first time I visited that site I swear I heard Hallelujah Chorus playing from somewhere...Probably the hard partying neighbors downstairs discovering that they had another six pack, but I like to think it was playing just for me. I mentioned before that I'm impatient, so when it comes to cooking, the fewer ingredients and foreign words the better! Skinnymom.com has SO many recipes that are fairly quick and easy! Now about my Fridays...

I'm hoping that by divulging what I eat on my cheat days I will eventually cut my full day of cheats down to a cheat meal. I was able to spend Friday afternoon with my mom and niece. We decided on lunch at Outback, where I indulged in Aussie fries, half of a French dip, and a Caesar salad. NOM NOM NOM, am I right?! After that we went to visit with my great-grandmother and Wendy. And by Wendy I mean Wendy's where mom made a Frosty stop. Now I usually don't cook on Friday, so when I got home Matt ordered Chinese. I had an eggroll and about half of my General Tso Chicken. The leftovers will be consumed by him, I promise!

Brianna may have had one too many Aussie fries...

I woke up this morning and realized it was weigh in day. I really didn't think I would see any positive results, buuuut....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....I weighed in at 261 lbs! 4 lbs down, 62 to go to reach my ultimate goal! Baby steps are working you guys! I'm still so in awe that all of you continue to read my updates and it really does mean the world to me. Each and every "like", comment, and pageview is what keeps me going, so thank you, thank you, thank you!

I loathe photos that are taken in the mirror, but I suppose this is the only way to do it when I'm the only one awake! I also hate unflattering pictures, but I know that someday I'll look back on this and be proud of what I have accomplished.

At least the mirror is clean...