'Tis The Season

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas at the White house! No, Mom, that isn't an announcement from Obama...Can you believe I have actually have gifts wrapped under the tree?! Working in retail for many years meant that I dreaded Christmas shopping and would wait until Christmas Eve to tackle the wrapping. I'm so fortunate to now be in a job that doesn't bombard me with the commercialism of Christmas so I can actually look forward to the season! 'Tis the season to be jolly, am I right? When I think of the word jolly, I think of Saint Nick and his jelly belly. This is not jelly belly season, y'all! I like the sound of "'tis the season to be vivacious" ! Don't sing it, it doesn't sound right, trust me, I tried...Many people think that one might be crazy for trying to live a healthy lifestyle during the holidays. Think about it. Christmas is one day. A lot of you, like me, will have multiple family gatherings and parties to attend. Let's say you have 7 events on your calendar. There are 31 days in December. Am I going to turn down all of the delicious goodies that are presented to me at said events? NO! Christmas rolls around once a year! However, that leaves 24 days that I can make all of the right food choices and get my tail into the gym. I'm stating right here and now that I will prove some of the naysayers wrong and lose weight throughout the entire month of December!

We're already halfway through December and I am continuing to see results when I climb onto the scale on Saturday mornings. This week I weighed in at 236 lbs! That's down 3 lbs from last week, down 32 lbs total, and 37 lbs away from reaching my goal of weighing 199 lbs by June 18th. I'm almost halfway there! I can honestly say that I wouldn't have made it this far without your support. Without each one of you following my blog and giving me encouragement it would have been so easy to throw in the towel weeks ago. I cannot thank you all enough! 

And now, my weekly selfie, followed by a precious picture of my niece, Brianna, from her Christmas photo shoot!

Photo of Pootie Bug by Heidi Burks Photography

Rock Steady

No, your eyes do not deceive you (HA!), that's not me. That's Lzzy Hale, no "i", the lead singer of Halestorm. This. Chick. Rocks. HARD. When I listen to her music while pounding the elliptical machine or the treadmill I feel like she is my sister from another mister because we are both rocking steady! 

I feared for the worst this week. Let's see, there were 2 Thanksgiving dinners, Mexican food, and a big fat steak from Outback last week. Ah, yes, there was also the delicious Christmas brunch that we had at work this week. I tried making up for it at the gym, but there is only so much I can squeeze into one day. In fact, I was only able to make it to the gym 3 days this week. I did mix up my workout a little by cutting my time on the elliptical down from 30 minutes to 20 minutes and I hopped on the treadmill for 25 minutes before hitting the weights. I'm sure you all get tired of me saying "I didn't think I would have good results this time" every week, so I'll try not to say that in every post! Seriously though, considering all of the junk that I ate over the last 10 days, I really thought that I would gain weight or sit at 241 lbs. With one eye open, I peered at the scale this morning...

239 lbs. Um, WHAT?! Yes, 239 lbs! That's down 2 lbs from last week, down a total of 29 lbs, and 40 lbs away from my goal of weighing 199 lbs by June 18th! I honestly had to get on the scale 3 or 4 times and put my glasses on before my eyes would believe what they were seeing! I'm almost halfway there you guys! I did the math and in order for me to achieve my goal I need to lose 1.6 lbs each week until my birthday. That is totally doable and I've never felt more motivated! 

Hopefully I will continue to rock steady, just like my girl, Lzzy. Thank you all for you unfailing love and support! Enjoy my awkward selfie below!

Bad Girl

I'm baaaaaaack! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Man, have I been bad! For starters, I didn't post an update last week. I'm sorry for that. On Thanksgiving a few of my family members expressed how saddened they were by my lack of bloggage. Yes, I just said bloggage. Seeing the disappointment on their faces is forever burned into my brain, therefore I will never miss an update again! (Hi Kelly & Janice!) While they may have been bummed about the lack of bloggage (there it is again!), my family was quick to shower me with compliments in regards to my appearance and determination. Those that know me well know that I'm not the best at receiving compliments but it took a lot for me not to burst into happy tears while I was being hugged and tugged. My family means the world to me and their support and motivation is what will help me cross my finish line! They are the best cheerleaders I could ever ask for. 

Why the photo of the fat cat? Look closer...that's actually a photo of me after oinking out on Thanksgiving day. Not really, but that is how I felt. Turkey, ham, dressing, sweet taters, casseroles, bread, pies, oh my! This day rolls around once a year so there were absolutely no rules and no limits. Luckily, most of my pants are a little loosey-goosey so sweatpants weren't a requirement this holiday. After partaking in some of my Aunt Kim's amazing apple cobbler, Dad and I went for a quick walk through the neighborhood. I probably burned enough calories to make up for licking my spoon, but hey, it's something! I can't move on to the next topic without mentioning that my Great-Uncle Roger said that the broccoli casserole that I made was THE BEST recipe he has EVER had. This is quite a feat. I'm sorry, Mom, but I believe that torch has been passed. If you are feeling indulgent, you can find the recipe here: http://www.food.com/recipe/cheez-it-broccoli-casserole-443079. I prefer to use chopped broccoli and minced onions. Enjoy, in moderation!

Black Friday. For many, those two words bring excitement and joy. For me, for 8 years, they meant hell on earth. This year, thanks to my job at McKee, they meant sleeping in! Or so I thought. I've been off since Wednesday morning and I've been trying to sleep like a human instead of a vampire. The morning of Black Friday I was up at 6:30. So, what was I to do? Go shopping? No. Catch up on Netflix? No. Go to the gym? YOU BETCHA! That's right, I took my gluttonous fanny to the gym. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to make it a full 30 minutes on the elliptical but thanks to Saved by the Bell reruns playing on the TV in front of me, I made it! I also managed to hit all of the weight machines as well. I probably should have headed home after working out but Best Buy had too many good deals to pass up. I'm happy to say that I am finished with shopping for Matt! Once I got home I did a little bit of cleaning and got our Christmas decorations up. Don't you just love our initial ornaments?

So I was a bad girl for not posting last week's update, I pigged out on Thanksgiving, and then last night Matt and I chowed down on some Amigos. I thought surely, even with my steady workout regimen, that I would gain weight. Last week I had lost 3 lbs. I dropped from 245 lbs to 242 lbs. Dang, last week could have had a great update! I hopped on the scale this morning to see that I weigh 241 lbs! Somehow, in all of the Thanksgiving madness, I lost 1 lb! That's 4 lbs since the last entry, 27 lbs since I began my journey, and 42 lbs away from my goal of 199 lbs by June 18th. Finally, I'm bad because I don't have a selfie to post yet. Tomorrow I'm heading to Knoxville for Thanksgiving 2.0 with Dad's family and I'm planning on cleaning up for it so I guarantee that I will add a selfie to this post at some point on Sunday. Notice how I just slipped in that I've got another Thanksgiving dinner coming up? Oh my...I'll leave you with this precious pic of Brianna grubbing out on her first Thanksgiving! Again, I hope you all had an excellent Thanksgiving and know that I am so thankful for each and every one of you!

- So I was a day late, but here is the awkward selfie, as promised...

   

Gym Pinkie

I learned something new today. A baby mouse can have several names. They can be called pups, kittens, or pinkies. Seeing that we all know baby dogs as pups and baby cats as kittens, I like the term pinkies. I'm here to announce that I am a "gym pinkie". Give me a few months and I just might transform into a full fledged gym rat! I made 3 trips to the gym this week and on the days that I didn't go I was craving a go at the elliptical machine or the stair master! Last week I shared that I survived 30 minutes on the elliptical. The first time really wasn't that rough. I can't lie, this past Thursday morning I thought I wasn't going to make it the full 30 minutes! Thanks to Breaking Benjamin and the fact that I'm as stubborn as a bull and my own worst enemy, I made it! Strictly cardio workouts helped me drop the weight at the beginning of this journey, but I know that it's never too soon to start toning up my muscles. I know they're hiding somewhere under the mush and I can't wait to be able to see them again! I've been using the weight machines opposed to the free weights but I'm sure that I'll eventually mix them in to my workouts. I have to add that I ordered a few pieces of active wear from Old Navy last week and none of them are from the plus size department! Don't get me wrong, they're still big, but they came from the misses section! Less material = lower cost. Woot woot!

I can't believe how well I've stuck to my healthy eating habits. Last Saturday we had a pizza party at work. I always participate in our events, but I passed on this one! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't convince myself that my turkey sandwich and apple tasted like Pizza Hut's pepperoni. A few days later we had a soup party. I did a have a small bowl of phenomenal chicken and dumplings and a smaller bowl of delicious broccoli and cheddar soup. My friend, Kim, made her tasty pumpkin cookies and I had one, just one! To make up for that indiscretion, I passed on my weekly Little Debbie last night. 

I managed to lose 1 lb this week, putting me at 245 lbs. That's down 23 lbs since I began and leaves me with 46 lbs to lose in order to reach my goal of 199 lbs by June 18th. I thought I would see better results after sticking to my diet and exercising more this past week. I just have to keep telling myself that baby steps have been working all along and that now is not the time to be expecting major leaps. Maybe next week! 

After taking my silly selfie, I realized that I may have cheated by wearing all black...but I'll be darned if it isn't slimming! 

Pardon my appearance...Today was cleaning/lay around and do a whole lotta nothing day...

Much love to all of you! 

Baby Steps

Can we just talk about how cute this picture is? I love baby rolls! Why can't being a chunky monkey when you're older be this adorable? I might have to start a movement...So, I've titled this entry Baby Steps because I've decided to approach quitting smoking the same way that I have did with eating and exercising. I need to take baby steps AND be okay with that. I haven't completely quit, but I have cut back. I did manage to go about 26 hours without smoking. I used to go through a pack about every other day. Now it takes me a few days to get through one. Popping my bubble gum to and from work is actually entertaining. It doesn't take much to amuse me! I do need to set a more realistic goal for myself. My current goal is to quit smoking by the time 2014 rolls around. It will be here before we know it! Sadly, I'm already over the Christmas commercials (Thanks, IHOP!) and someone that lives not too far away from me has had their decorations and lights up for at least a week now. What the heck?

I finally made it into the gym this week! Woo-hoo! I happened to get off from work early the other morning and I thought that 4:30AM would be the perfect time for me to pop in and get started. I was right. I love that Planet Fitness is open 24 hours and that they are staffed the entire time. I think I'm going to really enjoy being a member. I only made it in one day, but I can't wait to kill it next week! I did manage to hit the elliptical for 30 minutes. That's a new high time for me! I was so excited that I became that person that takes a picture of their progress...

Also, I thought this could be the last photo I would ever take...Longest 30 minutes of my life!

I thought for sure that I wouldn't lose any weight this week. I only exercised one day and somebody suggested that we needed a fast food breakfast on Friday morning. He was right, Hardee's biscuit and gravy hit the spot! I had Hardee's Friday morning and sushi for dinner. Of course, I had to indulge in my weekly Little Debbie as well. It's job security, y'all! So, I hopped on the scale this morning expecting to see the same number I saw last week, or worse, 250+. Well I must have done something right because I weighed in at 246 lbs! That's down 3 lbs from last week, down 22 lbs since I began my journey, and 47 lbs away from reaching my goal weight of 199 lbs by June 18th. It's all about the baby steps! I'm like my little niece, Brianna, who has started standing on her own but has yet to take off. Once she figures it out, there will be no slowing her down. The same can be said for me. Like the old Carpenter's song says, we've only just begun. And now, I give you my weekly selfie! Enjoy the face I'm making. I still feel ridiculous taking these so I figured why not express that via facial expressions...

I wanted to take a moment to once again thank each and every one of you for following this blog. I can't tell you how much it brightens my day and encourages me when you take the time out of your day to message me or reach out to me with your support. You guys and gals rock! Until next time...

Broken Records & Little Victories

You know that sound? The sound of an old record that just keeps skipping over and over and over and over? Insert that sound here. That is the sound that I hear every time I light a cigarette. I'm starting to feel like Bill Murray's character in Groundhog Day. I wake up every day thinking that it's a new day, but I end up repeating the same exact steps as I did the day before. Fortunately, I don't actually have Sonny & Cher's I Got You, Babe trapped in my noggin every time that I smoke. I promised from the get go that this blog would be blatantly honest, so here it is...I haven't tried that hard to quit smoking. I've tried to convince myself that I have, but it's not true. If I want a cigarette, I have one. I'm beginning to question if I even want to quit. "Um, yes, Lauren, you want to quit. It's a disgusting and expensive habit." "Then why am I smoking as I type this?" "Because you're a quitter." "Apparently not..." Now I've confused me, myself, and I, haha! Seriously though, I'm sick and tired of sounding like a broken record. As of right now I have 2 cigarettes left. I cannot promise that these will be my last 2, but I'm vowing to you all and myself that I will try my absolute hardest to kick the habit this time, cold turkey. If I say I'm going to do something, by golly I do it! It might take me a few weeks, but I WILL QUIT SMOKING! Everybody still with me? Great! Let's move on to something a little more positive...

I finally joined Planet Fitness last week! They were offering a fantastic deal that I couldn't pass up. For $20 per month I have access to both facilities, I can take a guest with me as often as I'd like, and I get unlimited tanning. I will take full advantage of 2 of those perks. I'll give you a hint. If you were to trace my family tree I'm almost positive that you'd discover that I am kin to Casper, the friendly ghost and I have no plans to look like we're not related. I'll also have access to some sweet massage chairs that I intend to use every dang visit! I signed up for my membership online and I have yet to actually step foot in the gym. It has been so long since I've been a gym member that I didn't own appropriate clothes or footwear. How sad! Today I took care of that issue and I'm so pumped to get in there and kick my own booty this week!

With the exception of Chinese Friday and a few naughty snacks at a birthday party today, I've been a good girl this week. I swear Grand China uses some sort of ancient Chinese secret in their food. I had my usual General Tso's, eggroll, and fried dumplings. One would think that eating all of that mess would totally ruin my Saturday morning weigh ins. Alas, this morning my scale told me that I weigh 249 lbs. I can't lie, I did a little victory dance immediately after I saw that number flash up. To know that I am finally closer to 200 lbs than I am to 300 lbs is my little victory! That's 2 lbs down from last week and 18 lbs since I began my journey. This puts me 50 lbs away from my goal of 199 lbs by June 18th. As you'll see below, I actually wasn't too unhappy to be taking my weekly selfie!

Photobomb brought to you by my flat iron...

I seriously need to buy a full length mirror. I just realized that this is the same outfit that I was wearing in my first awkward selfie. For the first time I can actually see a difference in my body! A friend of mine at work had told me that she could tell I was losing, especially in my neck and face. I sincerely told her that it was great to know that it didn't look like my neck was trying to eat my face anymore! No, really, that's what was happening. I also saw a friend of mine from high school that I haven't seen in years today. (Hi, Ashley!) She shared with me that she loves my blog and that she looks forward to it every week. Words just cannot express how much that touches my heart! I'm so honored and grateful to have such wonderful friends and family that keep me motivated every single day. Until next time...

Cold Turkey

Welcome back! I hope you all have had a great week and are keeping warm! It is fall in Tennessee, right? I keep expecting to look up to the sky only to be hit in the eye with a snowflake. At this point in my plan to quit smoking, today would be day 7. I should have had only 4 cigarettes today. That didn't happen. So, even though I am usually quite the stickler when it comes to my plans, I'm going to have to try Plan C. Plan A, just tapering off of them on my own didn't happen. Plan B, setting an actual schedule to wean off of them didn't happen. On to Plan C. Cold Turkey. I'm determined to quit, but this is so much harder than I thought it would be! It's not even so much that I crave cigarettes. It's the rituals, if you will. I smoke while I drive to and from work. I smoke after a meal. I smoke after I shower. I smoke while playing Candy Crush for a ridiculously long time.  I've got 11 cigs left as we speak. The pack that I have now will be the last pack I ever purchase. In order to help me fight the habit, I've purchased these sugar free goodies.

Someone, who shall remain anonymous, has discovered my stash...

If going cold turkey doesn't work, I will move on to Plans D-Z. I did the math this week. By kicking the habit I will save approximately $85 a month. That is $1,000 a year! Holy savings, Batman! My health and my wallet cannot afford to take this any longer. Any tips from you all are welcomed and appreciated!

For the past few weeks I have been working like a mad woman. I've been putting in 55-60 hours a week. I've done this before with previous jobs, but those jobs were not third shift. Working 6:30PM-6:30AM is no joke!  That being said, I also have yet to join Planet Fitness. I've worked 3 out of the last 4 Saturdays. I'm off tonight, so I took today to get my weekly meal planning and grocery shopping finished, along with catching up on cleaning around the apartment. I've still been hopping on the elliptical throughout the week, but I'm hoping to join the gym soon!

Speaking of meal planning, that is something that has really helped me stick to my diet. By writing out what I'm making for dinner each day of the week, I avoid the urge to run to McDonald's or order a pizza and cheesy bread from Papa John's. I've got to give mad props to Matt for being the best guinea pig I could ask for! He's tried everything that I have cooked. With the exception of a Mexican dish made with whole wheat tortillas ("These things taste like newspaper..."), he's liked, or at least pretended to like, all of the dishes I've had him try. I decide what to keep in rotation by how rapidly the leftovers disappear! 

Friday, aka "Eat Whatever I Want" day, was glorious this week. I don't cook on Friday, so we hit up Rice Box. If you haven't tried it yet, you're missing out! It's not quite up to par with Ichiban, but it beats the pants off of Little Tokyo. It's located in the Bi-Lo shopping center in the Rivermont area. I had 3 rolls of sushi. I divulged in a Philadelphia roll, a spicy shrimp roll, and a crunchy crab roll. They were divine! As I was going to town on the rolls, I realized they weren't terrible for me. None of them were fried or drizzled with mayo based sauces. I can't say that the 2 pieces of Cho-Cho chicken were good for me, but boy were they good. I also made sure to squeeze in 2 caramel apple cookies that my sweet friend, Kim, brought to me. Before I knew it, Saturday morning was upon me and we all know what the means. Scale time! This morning I weighed in at 251 lbs! That's 3 lbs for the week and 16 lbs since I began my journey! I'm so close to the other side of 250 that I can taste it! I have to lose 51 lbs to reach my ultimate goal of 199 lbs by June 18th. At this rate, I'll be there by March! 

A few of you have reached out to me and said that I have inspired you. I can be a pretty tough cookie, but my heart absolutely melts when I hear or read what my story has done for you. I've said from the get go, and I will continue to say it, that if this blog can help motivate just one person, I will have accomplished more than I ever intended. Thank you to each and every one of you for keeping up with me and sending me words of love, support, and advice. I leave you with my super awkward selfie of the week! Until next time...

Bathroom cleaning is on tomorrow's agenda...

If At First You Don't Succeed

Try, try again...That is what I must do. I'm sorry to report that giving up the cigarettes was a bust this past week. I could try to use working 60 hours as an excuse, but there is no valid excuse besides not trying hard enough. My ultimate mistake was not having a game plan. I thought that just telling myself that I would wean off of them would work. No ma'am, Pam. I'm a planner! So, here's my master plan. Tomorrow I will smoke 10 cigarettes. That's actually more than I normally smoke on a work day. The following day I will smoke 9. The day after that I will smoke 8, and so on and so on, until I'm down to 0. Following that game plan should have me smoke free by October 30th. My lungs and my wallet look forward to it! 

Let me tell you, there is nothing like seeing someone for the first time in weeks and having them tell you that they can tell you've lost weight. Matt and my coworkers see me on a regular basis, so it will take a little more time for them to have a *WOW* moment. Along with the compliments and encouragement come questions. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love it when people ask me what I'm doing to drop the weight. Like I said when I started this blog, if I can motivate even just one of my family or friends with my experience then I will be over the moon! "What is your secret?", is the question that always makes me laugh a little. There is no secret. It's a dash of motivation and a pinch of common sense. As we learned from Morpheus up there, diet and exercise are enough. The better I get with managing what I'm eating, the more I long for the gym. The workout room at work is so convenient and FREE. However, it's becoming a little too limiting. I've done a little bit of research and I've decided that sometime next week I'll be joining Planet Fitness! I'm so excited to get in there and bust my tail! Hopping on the elliptical while on break a few times a week has really helped me get my feet wet, but the time has come for me to dive in and transform my body. 

I know you're all dying to know what I splurged on yesterday. Although Matt has declared that Friday is now "Chinese Friday", I had a major hankering for some Mexican. I had more than my fair share of queso and chips and about a third of my taco salad from Amigo. The meats in the taco salad were bland and the whole thing was overall disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I still love Amigo was more than one should, that just wasn't the best item that I've tried over the years. Later I indulged in a Little Debbie and that made up for the lousy dinner. I do think it's time for me to cut my cheat days down to every other Friday. While I was chowing down on the queso I was secretly dreaming of squash and zucchini. I take that as a sign that I'm slowly but surely making a lifestyle change and not just dieting! Yay! 

As usual, I assumed that I would be paying a terrible price for my Mexican when I got on the scale this morning. The result? I weighed in at 254, down 2 lbs from last week. That's a grand total of 14 lbs! I'm pretty proud of myself, but I can't wait to be on the other side of 250! I have an app on my iPhone, Weight Diary Free, that has helped me keep track of my weight on a weekly basis, and it also asked for my goal, and calculates my trends. According to it, at the rate I'm going, I should reach my goal of 199 lbs in 4 and a half months! If I reach my goal before my 30th birthday, then I'll just have to set another one, won't I? I leave you all with the awkward mirror selfie and all of my love! Until next time...

My Not So Secret Dirty Little Secret

Yup, that's my not so secret dirty little secret. I'm a smoker. To some of you this is not news, to others this is a shock. I do my best to avoid smelling like an ashtray. When I revealed that I smoked to some coworkers recently, they couldn't believe it because they never smell it on me. I've been smoking regularly for the last 6 or 7 years. I cannot believe I've had such a nasty habit for so long. I wouldn't say that I'm a heavy smoker. I might smoke half of a pack a day, if that. That fact makes it so much more clear to me that I can quit! McKee has a smoke free campus, so on those nights that I work 12 hours, I don't hide in my car (like some people!) or use my break time to drive around for a fix. That's 12 hours smoke free. Factor in anywhere from 6-8 hours of sleep, and that's up to 20 hours smoke free...HELLO, LAUREN! That is almost a full day that I'm not smoking. Every smoker knows that they need to quit. I dare you to find a smoker that is stunned when you say, "Hey, you know that's bad for you, right?". Shout out to my dad who I know is reading this with a HUGE grin on his face. He's done everything from telling me stories about yucky lungs he's seen on line, to giving me pamphlets, and offering to help me pay for Nicorette. It only makes sense for me to quit now. I know that they say with quitting comes weight gain. That's ok. How much of a moron am I to bust my tail on an elliptical machine, only to have a cigarette on the drive home 30 minutes later? My time to quit is now. I won't be quitting cold turkey or using any products. I'm hoping that tapering off will work for me. My goal is to be smoke free by this time next week. I have too much to live for! I don't want my niece, my friends' children, or my stepdaughter to eventually know me as the lady that stinks, coughs a lot, has funny lines around her mouth, and sounds like a bullfrog! With that said, I apologize in advance to anyone that encounters me over the next few weeks. If I'm raging bee-otch, just know that it is for the best! I wonder how long I can use that as an excuse...

Let's move on, shall we? I did my weekly grocery shopping today and I couldn't help but smile when I realized that I had spent 10 minutes in the produce area. You've heard the expression "like a kid in a candy store" before? That's how I felt! Now I want you to say, "like a Lauren in the produce aisle"! I didn't even step foot into the aisles that were normally home, like the ones that house Doritos and frozen pizzas. I did need some dairy products and what do you know? Bi-Lo has Mayfield ice cream on BOGO! I can't lie, that was a hard bargain to pass up! I've never had much of a sweet tooth, but I do love ice cream...

I think I'm finally getting the groove of healthy cooking. I look back now at all of the times that I relied on Lean Cuisine to help me get weight off and I shudder. You mean I can have a big ol' homemade meal using fresh ingredients instead of 10 bites of freezer burned pasta? YES! I can't really blame myself for the past though. I probably still would've assumed that the microwave meals were my best route if I didn't love feeding my handsome hubby! I don't want this blog to turn into a "here's what I ate this week" diary, so if you aren't already following my "Grub" page on Pinterest, then I am ashamed and you should get on that pronto! Most of the meals that I've made since I've started my journey I have pinned. For those of you not on Pinterest, hopefully this link will work: http://www.pinterest.com/lauren61821/grub/ Tread lightly, if you go back too far you will drift into dark waters where there are recipes for Nutella Cheesecake and Potato Bacon Casserole....

And now, the moment you have all been waiting for...time for weigh in results! Yesterday was my cheat day, which apparently is now Chinese Friday, according to Matt. I slept for most of the day (remember, I'm a third shifter!), so dinner was my one meal for the day. I had 2 spring rolls, fried dumplings, and about half of my General Tso's chicken and fried rice. Later my sweet tooth kicked in for the first time in a while and I had not 1, but 2 honey buns. And I might have licked my fingers afterwards. Maybe. I'll never tell. So this morning I get up and expect to see that I've lost a pound or 2. Alas, the number looking back at me was 256. Whaaaaat?!?!? I reached for my glasses, and yup, 256 lbs, down from 261 last week. 5 down, 57 to reach my ultimate goal of weighing less than 200 lbs by my 30th birthday, June 18th. Put it on your calendars, folks! Once again, I cannot close out this entry without thanking each and every one of you for reading my blog and supporting me. Anytime that I have thought about giving up, I think about you! I can't let any of you down, but ultimately I can't let myself down. I love you all! Oh yes...here's the obligatory "mirror selfie"...I had to add another pic below this one so I can look back on it and see how ridiculous look...

I don't know why I'm making that face, but it cracks me up every time I look at it...

Yup, this is not a good look...

Back In The Saddle Again

That's right, I'm back in the saddle again! It sure wasn't easy. After blowing it last week, and indulging in the new Peanut Butter Creme Pies at work (OMG, 400 calories?!), I hopped back on the elliptical and haven't looked back! One thing that has been tough is constantly reminding myself that this is a lifestyle change and not a crash diet. For years I was so used to busting my tail in the gym and watching every bite I eat, so that when the time to weigh in came I would see that I had dropped a minimum of 5 pounds every week. Obviously that doesn't work or you wouldn't be reading this now, would ya? A few of you have asked me what I'm doing for my diet. I'm not doing any kind of program, such as Weight Watchers or Nutrisystem. Again, I'm trying to make a lifestyle change. I do think that Weight Watchers is a fantastic program for steadily getting weight off, but I'm terribly impatient and I know that constantly weighing, measuring, or counting points would drive me bat crap crazy! For me it comes down to common sense. I've cut the soft drinks, fried foods, chips (even the baked!), and sweets. I try to cook dinner most nights. Tonight I made "Skinny" Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas that were quite scrumptious! I work third shift, so my "lunch" is at 11:30PM. I usually take leftovers or low carb whole wheat wrap. I've also been taking fruits to snack on to deter me from the Little Debbies! Fortunately, McKee also manufactures the Sunbelt products so occasionally I'll have an Oats and Honey or Oatmeal Raisin granola bar.  

I was about to throw in the towel on the healthy cooking and subject Matt and myself to multiple nights of baked chicken and green beans. A couple of you have suggested different websites to find recipes. One of those was skinnymom.com. The first time I visited that site I swear I heard Hallelujah Chorus playing from somewhere...Probably the hard partying neighbors downstairs discovering that they had another six pack, but I like to think it was playing just for me. I mentioned before that I'm impatient, so when it comes to cooking, the fewer ingredients and foreign words the better! Skinnymom.com has SO many recipes that are fairly quick and easy! Now about my Fridays...

I'm hoping that by divulging what I eat on my cheat days I will eventually cut my full day of cheats down to a cheat meal. I was able to spend Friday afternoon with my mom and niece. We decided on lunch at Outback, where I indulged in Aussie fries, half of a French dip, and a Caesar salad. NOM NOM NOM, am I right?! After that we went to visit with my great-grandmother and Wendy. And by Wendy I mean Wendy's where mom made a Frosty stop. Now I usually don't cook on Friday, so when I got home Matt ordered Chinese. I had an eggroll and about half of my General Tso Chicken. The leftovers will be consumed by him, I promise!

Brianna may have had one too many Aussie fries...

I woke up this morning and realized it was weigh in day. I really didn't think I would see any positive results, buuuut....DRUM ROLL PLEASE....I weighed in at 261 lbs! 4 lbs down, 62 to go to reach my ultimate goal! Baby steps are working you guys! I'm still so in awe that all of you continue to read my updates and it really does mean the world to me. Each and every "like", comment, and pageview is what keeps me going, so thank you, thank you, thank you!

I loathe photos that are taken in the mirror, but I suppose this is the only way to do it when I'm the only one awake! I also hate unflattering pictures, but I know that someday I'll look back on this and be proud of what I have accomplished.

At least the mirror is clean...

Saying Goodbye

I figured I'd start off this week's entry by just throwing that out there. Yup, 2 weeks in and I've been cheating on my diet. I had dropped 5 pounds at the end of two weeks, and then my life was momentarily turned upside down. My grandfather, my dad's father, passed away last Saturday. This wasn't shocking news. He had been in poor health for the last years, and he seemed to be getting progressively worse over the last few months. I say that losing him turned my life upside down because he is the first grandparent that I've lost. How many people can say that they had lived to almost 30 before saying goodbye to a grandparent? I want to take a minute or two of your time to share a few of my favorite Papaw Fraker tales. He wasn't a man of many words, but I'll miss the times we sat on their back porch in silence, just enjoying the breeze and the smells of spring. We'd share the gliding bench and a can of sardines. You're thinking gross, right? They're actually quite delicious! I probably never would have tried the little fishies if it weren't for him. Another one of my favorite memories with him took place on that same back porch. I was probably around 13. I don't remember exactly how the story went, but my Mamaw (his wife), was telling a story and instead of saying "I was cold" or "I was bored", she kept using "we". Papaw finally piped up and said, "We?? You got a mouse in your pocket?!" I don't know that I have laughed that hard to this day. Apparently that is a common phrase but I had never heard it until that day. I don't know that I'll ever get used to going to their house in Knoxville and pulling in the driveway without seeing him rocking away in his Cracker Barrel chair that he loved so much. He loved gardening, White Christmas, and couponing (before it was cool) at Ingles or Kroger, and baseball. But more than anything, he loved God and he loved his family. I'm sure we drove him absolutely batty a lot of the times. If you think I can be loud, you should see all 30+ of us under one roof. There's no doubt in my mind that he loved each and every one of us and that he was so proud of what he had created. 

We sure will miss you Papaw! He left behind his sweet wife of 60 years, Louise, 5 children, 11 grandchildren, 8 great-grandchildren, and many many more family members and dear friends. Here in the Bible belt, with loss and mourning comes a lot of southern comfort food. I spent 2 days in Knoxville, where our dear family and friends bombarded us with home cooking. Fried chicken, casseroles, and desserts for days. Did I partake or did I look for the salad? As you saw with the bear, I caved. And if I had just cheated for those 2 days I wouldn't feel so guilty about where I am now. I've always been the type to say, "Well I was bad for those 2 days so I may as well just binge until next week!" So not only am I learning to say goodbye to Papaw, but also to the "old" Lauren and her bad habits. Why do some of us have that mentality that we can't get a fresh start until Sunday or Monday? It makes no sense! I haven't weighed this week for fear that my scale has learned to scream. So here's to the "new" Lauren...

Thank you to each and every one of you that called, sent texts, food, love, and hugs to me and my family this past week. It means the world to us! Also, thank you to you, yeah you, for all of the positive feedback and support that you gave me after my first post. I truly wasn't expecting many people to read it, much less take the time to reach out to me with your words of encouragement. I love you all! 

This Is The Hard Part

I am not a writer. I am not a nutritionist. I am not a personal trainer. I am a 29 year old woman that has been a yo-yo dieter for the last 10 years. I am a woman that loves pizza, my husband's hamburgers, and Coca-Cola. That's right, I'm Lauren, and I freaking love all things bad for me. However, I'm a also a woman that has had a fire lit under her lumpy butt! I'm staring 30 in the face (okay, I have 9 more months to go) and I refuse to greet it with a goofy grin and a double chin! I've started this blog to not only chart my progress, but to hold me accountable. If I can inspire some of you along the way, that would just be the icing on the cake! Err, the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on the whole wheat bagel? Let's get started, shall we?

I was born a poor black child. That's not true, but I couldn't resist throwing in a reference to The Jerk. I was born and raised in the lovely Chattanooga, Tennessee. I was always an active child, playing outside until dark, skating, riding bikes, and playing softball. My dad was a stickler when it came to second helpings at dinner. Sure, I could have another slice of roast beef, but only if it was accompanied by another spoonful of green beans. Both of my parents were fit and did their best to keep us physically active and eating balanced meals. It wasn't until middle school that I was given the opportunity to choose my own lunch and started really chunking up. When I think about all of the horrific foods that were offered to us as tweens it sickens me. No really, does anybody else remember that giant piece of garlic bread smothered in twelve different cheeses, butter, and probably lard? As a 12 year old, did I want that? Or the sauerkraut and weenies? GIVE ME MY CHEESE BREAD OR GIVE ME DEATH! Thus began my struggle with making wise food choices. It was all downhill from there. I stayed active through high school thanks to the marching band. Hey, don't knock it. If cheerleaders were athletes then so were the Soddy Daisy High School Marching Trojans. I still lacked wisdom in my food choices. Taco Bell after a 3 hour practice? Steak n' Shake after the football game? HECK YEAH! So there I was, graduating high school at 200 lbs...

I was almost 19 when I went on my first diet. I just woke up one day and decided to grab a Lean Cuisine at the store. I'm sure I came close to putting the Armando's behind my office out of business when I started eating healthier. Mmm...Armando's...No, no, no! I cut out the fried foods and soft drinks, and started working out at the YMCA. The weight just fell off, it was glorious! I went from 218 lbs to 165 lbs. I was a size 12, which is perfect for my frame in my opinion. That's me on the right. The hair is unforgivable, but I was happy at that size.

 

That same year I met Matt, the man that 9 years later, would become my husband. I tried to maintain my weight, but as we all know, it is way too easy to get comfortable in a relationship. Did I want to go to the gym or go to the movies with my new boyfriend? A few hundred dates to Chinese buffets and Texas Roadhouse and suddenly I was back in my "fat pants". I also began working full time and it seemed so much easier to grab fast food on my lunch break than to stick something in the fridge the night before. Fear not, I've realized the stupidity in that theory now. Before I knew it I was 21 and thus began the partying. Late nights at Chilis, drinking until last call, and early morning Krystal runs had wrecked my body. By the time I was 24, I had reached 275 lbs. It wasn't until I was 25 that I went running back to the gym. Over the course of about 6 months I had lost 60 lbs and there seemed to be no limits to what I could accomplish. Then I was diagnosed with mono. I actually had plans to go to the gym when I left the doctor's office. Then he tells me to make sure I take it easy and stay out of the gym for a few weeks because I could rupture my spleen. What the crap?! So I took his instructions and laid out of the gym...for 4 years...

Which brings us to today. Sometimes it takes someone that you love to give you a reality check. They may not even realize that's what they're doing when they say, "You have such a pretty face!" or sometimes they just flat out tell you that they worry about you. And then there are the times that they ask you if you just don't care anymore. All of those things come together from different loved ones and can hit you in the face like a freight train. It also doesn't help when you're scouring through pictures from a recent family reunion and come across a less than flattering one of your backside.

HELLO MOTIVATION! I wanted to deny that this was me but I'll be darned if my tattoo doesn't rule that out. So as of 2 weeks ago I am Coke free. I've cut out the fried foods, except on Fridays, not because it's "Fri-day", but because at this point if I don't give myself one cheat day a week I will binge like a prisoner would on his last meal before the electric chair. It might not be a huge achievement, but I've also not had a Little Debbie in two weeks. Considering that I work in the bakery that makes them and there is a plethora of them at my beck and call (for free no less), I'm giving myself a pat on the back. We also have a workout room at the plant. Nothing fancy, just a few elliptical machines, stationary bikes, and what looks to be like a Bowflex. This week I danced with the elliptical for the first time in 4 years. Ahh, memories. By the end of the week I had climbed my way up to 20 minutes. I seriously didn't think I would make it past 5 the first time, but I did it! I've got a long journey ahead of me. It's different this time. Before I was married, I would live off of the high sodium frozen meals when dieting. But this time I'm making a lifestyle change. I really enjoy cooking for Matt and myself, it's really the only time that we have together throughout the week with me working third shift. Now I just have to learn how to cook healthier. R.I.P. Cream Cheese Pepperoni Lasagna...

My ultimate goal is to be under 200 lbs by my 30th birthday. At 265, (OMG I JUST PUT THAT OUT THERE!!!) I've got a long way to go. I know that with the support, encouragement, and love from my husband, family, and friends, I can do it! I had no intentions of making my first post this long, but if you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I'm not going to be a scale junkie and post everyday squealing that I lost .2 lbs. I do promise to update weekly, and I'll even included some photos. I can't promise that some of those pics won't be of my adorable niece, Brianna, who weighs in at 17 lbs 4 oz!

We'll just use the hellacious family reunion butt shot as a before picture, haha! I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you. Wish me luck!

Lauren