Saying Goodbye

I figured I'd start off this week's entry by just throwing that out there. Yup, 2 weeks in and I've been cheating on my diet. I had dropped 5 pounds at the end of two weeks, and then my life was momentarily turned upside down. My grandfather, my dad's father, passed away last Saturday. This wasn't shocking news. He had been in poor health for the last years, and he seemed to be getting progressively worse over the last few months. I say that losing him turned my life upside down because he is the first grandparent that I've lost. How many people can say that they had lived to almost 30 before saying goodbye to a grandparent? I want to take a minute or two of your time to share a few of my favorite Papaw Fraker tales. He wasn't a man of many words, but I'll miss the times we sat on their back porch in silence, just enjoying the breeze and the smells of spring. We'd share the gliding bench and a can of sardines. You're thinking gross, right? They're actually quite delicious! I probably never would have tried the little fishies if it weren't for him. Another one of my favorite memories with him took place on that same back porch. I was probably around 13. I don't remember exactly how the story went, but my Mamaw (his wife), was telling a story and instead of saying "I was cold" or "I was bored", she kept using "we". Papaw finally piped up and said, "We?? You got a mouse in your pocket?!" I don't know that I have laughed that hard to this day. Apparently that is a common phrase but I had never heard it until that day. I don't know that I'll ever get used to going to their house in Knoxville and pulling in the driveway without seeing him rocking away in his Cracker Barrel chair that he loved so much. He loved gardening, White Christmas, and couponing (before it was cool) at Ingles or Kroger, and baseball. But more than anything, he loved God and he loved his family. I'm sure we drove him absolutely batty a lot of the times. If you think I can be loud, you should see all 30+ of us under one roof. There's no doubt in my mind that he loved each and every one of us and that he was so proud of what he had created. 

We sure will miss you Papaw! He left behind his sweet wife of 60 years, Louise, 5 children, 11 grandchildren, 8 great-grandchildren, and many many more family members and dear friends. Here in the Bible belt, with loss and mourning comes a lot of southern comfort food. I spent 2 days in Knoxville, where our dear family and friends bombarded us with home cooking. Fried chicken, casseroles, and desserts for days. Did I partake or did I look for the salad? As you saw with the bear, I caved. And if I had just cheated for those 2 days I wouldn't feel so guilty about where I am now. I've always been the type to say, "Well I was bad for those 2 days so I may as well just binge until next week!" So not only am I learning to say goodbye to Papaw, but also to the "old" Lauren and her bad habits. Why do some of us have that mentality that we can't get a fresh start until Sunday or Monday? It makes no sense! I haven't weighed this week for fear that my scale has learned to scream. So here's to the "new" Lauren...

Thank you to each and every one of you that called, sent texts, food, love, and hugs to me and my family this past week. It means the world to us! Also, thank you to you, yeah you, for all of the positive feedback and support that you gave me after my first post. I truly wasn't expecting many people to read it, much less take the time to reach out to me with your words of encouragement. I love you all!