This Is The Hard Part

I am not a writer. I am not a nutritionist. I am not a personal trainer. I am a 29 year old woman that has been a yo-yo dieter for the last 10 years. I am a woman that loves pizza, my husband's hamburgers, and Coca-Cola. That's right, I'm Lauren, and I freaking love all things bad for me. However, I'm a also a woman that has had a fire lit under her lumpy butt! I'm staring 30 in the face (okay, I have 9 more months to go) and I refuse to greet it with a goofy grin and a double chin! I've started this blog to not only chart my progress, but to hold me accountable. If I can inspire some of you along the way, that would just be the icing on the cake! Err, the I Can't Believe It's Not Butter on the whole wheat bagel? Let's get started, shall we?

I was born a poor black child. That's not true, but I couldn't resist throwing in a reference to The Jerk. I was born and raised in the lovely Chattanooga, Tennessee. I was always an active child, playing outside until dark, skating, riding bikes, and playing softball. My dad was a stickler when it came to second helpings at dinner. Sure, I could have another slice of roast beef, but only if it was accompanied by another spoonful of green beans. Both of my parents were fit and did their best to keep us physically active and eating balanced meals. It wasn't until middle school that I was given the opportunity to choose my own lunch and started really chunking up. When I think about all of the horrific foods that were offered to us as tweens it sickens me. No really, does anybody else remember that giant piece of garlic bread smothered in twelve different cheeses, butter, and probably lard? As a 12 year old, did I want that? Or the sauerkraut and weenies? GIVE ME MY CHEESE BREAD OR GIVE ME DEATH! Thus began my struggle with making wise food choices. It was all downhill from there. I stayed active through high school thanks to the marching band. Hey, don't knock it. If cheerleaders were athletes then so were the Soddy Daisy High School Marching Trojans. I still lacked wisdom in my food choices. Taco Bell after a 3 hour practice? Steak n' Shake after the football game? HECK YEAH! So there I was, graduating high school at 200 lbs...

I was almost 19 when I went on my first diet. I just woke up one day and decided to grab a Lean Cuisine at the store. I'm sure I came close to putting the Armando's behind my office out of business when I started eating healthier. Mmm...Armando's...No, no, no! I cut out the fried foods and soft drinks, and started working out at the YMCA. The weight just fell off, it was glorious! I went from 218 lbs to 165 lbs. I was a size 12, which is perfect for my frame in my opinion. That's me on the right. The hair is unforgivable, but I was happy at that size.

 

That same year I met Matt, the man that 9 years later, would become my husband. I tried to maintain my weight, but as we all know, it is way too easy to get comfortable in a relationship. Did I want to go to the gym or go to the movies with my new boyfriend? A few hundred dates to Chinese buffets and Texas Roadhouse and suddenly I was back in my "fat pants". I also began working full time and it seemed so much easier to grab fast food on my lunch break than to stick something in the fridge the night before. Fear not, I've realized the stupidity in that theory now. Before I knew it I was 21 and thus began the partying. Late nights at Chilis, drinking until last call, and early morning Krystal runs had wrecked my body. By the time I was 24, I had reached 275 lbs. It wasn't until I was 25 that I went running back to the gym. Over the course of about 6 months I had lost 60 lbs and there seemed to be no limits to what I could accomplish. Then I was diagnosed with mono. I actually had plans to go to the gym when I left the doctor's office. Then he tells me to make sure I take it easy and stay out of the gym for a few weeks because I could rupture my spleen. What the crap?! So I took his instructions and laid out of the gym...for 4 years...

Which brings us to today. Sometimes it takes someone that you love to give you a reality check. They may not even realize that's what they're doing when they say, "You have such a pretty face!" or sometimes they just flat out tell you that they worry about you. And then there are the times that they ask you if you just don't care anymore. All of those things come together from different loved ones and can hit you in the face like a freight train. It also doesn't help when you're scouring through pictures from a recent family reunion and come across a less than flattering one of your backside.

HELLO MOTIVATION! I wanted to deny that this was me but I'll be darned if my tattoo doesn't rule that out. So as of 2 weeks ago I am Coke free. I've cut out the fried foods, except on Fridays, not because it's "Fri-day", but because at this point if I don't give myself one cheat day a week I will binge like a prisoner would on his last meal before the electric chair. It might not be a huge achievement, but I've also not had a Little Debbie in two weeks. Considering that I work in the bakery that makes them and there is a plethora of them at my beck and call (for free no less), I'm giving myself a pat on the back. We also have a workout room at the plant. Nothing fancy, just a few elliptical machines, stationary bikes, and what looks to be like a Bowflex. This week I danced with the elliptical for the first time in 4 years. Ahh, memories. By the end of the week I had climbed my way up to 20 minutes. I seriously didn't think I would make it past 5 the first time, but I did it! I've got a long journey ahead of me. It's different this time. Before I was married, I would live off of the high sodium frozen meals when dieting. But this time I'm making a lifestyle change. I really enjoy cooking for Matt and myself, it's really the only time that we have together throughout the week with me working third shift. Now I just have to learn how to cook healthier. R.I.P. Cream Cheese Pepperoni Lasagna...

My ultimate goal is to be under 200 lbs by my 30th birthday. At 265, (OMG I JUST PUT THAT OUT THERE!!!) I've got a long way to go. I know that with the support, encouragement, and love from my husband, family, and friends, I can do it! I had no intentions of making my first post this long, but if you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading! I'm not going to be a scale junkie and post everyday squealing that I lost .2 lbs. I do promise to update weekly, and I'll even included some photos. I can't promise that some of those pics won't be of my adorable niece, Brianna, who weighs in at 17 lbs 4 oz!

We'll just use the hellacious family reunion butt shot as a before picture, haha! I look forward to sharing this journey with all of you. Wish me luck!

Lauren