My Not So Secret Dirty Little Secret

Yup, that's my not so secret dirty little secret. I'm a smoker. To some of you this is not news, to others this is a shock. I do my best to avoid smelling like an ashtray. When I revealed that I smoked to some coworkers recently, they couldn't believe it because they never smell it on me. I've been smoking regularly for the last 6 or 7 years. I cannot believe I've had such a nasty habit for so long. I wouldn't say that I'm a heavy smoker. I might smoke half of a pack a day, if that. That fact makes it so much more clear to me that I can quit! McKee has a smoke free campus, so on those nights that I work 12 hours, I don't hide in my car (like some people!) or use my break time to drive around for a fix. That's 12 hours smoke free. Factor in anywhere from 6-8 hours of sleep, and that's up to 20 hours smoke free...HELLO, LAUREN! That is almost a full day that I'm not smoking. Every smoker knows that they need to quit. I dare you to find a smoker that is stunned when you say, "Hey, you know that's bad for you, right?". Shout out to my dad who I know is reading this with a HUGE grin on his face. He's done everything from telling me stories about yucky lungs he's seen on line, to giving me pamphlets, and offering to help me pay for Nicorette. It only makes sense for me to quit now. I know that they say with quitting comes weight gain. That's ok. How much of a moron am I to bust my tail on an elliptical machine, only to have a cigarette on the drive home 30 minutes later? My time to quit is now. I won't be quitting cold turkey or using any products. I'm hoping that tapering off will work for me. My goal is to be smoke free by this time next week. I have too much to live for! I don't want my niece, my friends' children, or my stepdaughter to eventually know me as the lady that stinks, coughs a lot, has funny lines around her mouth, and sounds like a bullfrog! With that said, I apologize in advance to anyone that encounters me over the next few weeks. If I'm raging bee-otch, just know that it is for the best! I wonder how long I can use that as an excuse...

Let's move on, shall we? I did my weekly grocery shopping today and I couldn't help but smile when I realized that I had spent 10 minutes in the produce area. You've heard the expression "like a kid in a candy store" before? That's how I felt! Now I want you to say, "like a Lauren in the produce aisle"! I didn't even step foot into the aisles that were normally home, like the ones that house Doritos and frozen pizzas. I did need some dairy products and what do you know? Bi-Lo has Mayfield ice cream on BOGO! I can't lie, that was a hard bargain to pass up! I've never had much of a sweet tooth, but I do love ice cream...

I think I'm finally getting the groove of healthy cooking. I look back now at all of the times that I relied on Lean Cuisine to help me get weight off and I shudder. You mean I can have a big ol' homemade meal using fresh ingredients instead of 10 bites of freezer burned pasta? YES! I can't really blame myself for the past though. I probably still would've assumed that the microwave meals were my best route if I didn't love feeding my handsome hubby! I don't want this blog to turn into a "here's what I ate this week" diary, so if you aren't already following my "Grub" page on Pinterest, then I am ashamed and you should get on that pronto! Most of the meals that I've made since I've started my journey I have pinned. For those of you not on Pinterest, hopefully this link will work: http://www.pinterest.com/lauren61821/grub/ Tread lightly, if you go back too far you will drift into dark waters where there are recipes for Nutella Cheesecake and Potato Bacon Casserole....

And now, the moment you have all been waiting for...time for weigh in results! Yesterday was my cheat day, which apparently is now Chinese Friday, according to Matt. I slept for most of the day (remember, I'm a third shifter!), so dinner was my one meal for the day. I had 2 spring rolls, fried dumplings, and about half of my General Tso's chicken and fried rice. Later my sweet tooth kicked in for the first time in a while and I had not 1, but 2 honey buns. And I might have licked my fingers afterwards. Maybe. I'll never tell. So this morning I get up and expect to see that I've lost a pound or 2. Alas, the number looking back at me was 256. Whaaaaat?!?!? I reached for my glasses, and yup, 256 lbs, down from 261 last week. 5 down, 57 to reach my ultimate goal of weighing less than 200 lbs by my 30th birthday, June 18th. Put it on your calendars, folks! Once again, I cannot close out this entry without thanking each and every one of you for reading my blog and supporting me. Anytime that I have thought about giving up, I think about you! I can't let any of you down, but ultimately I can't let myself down. I love you all! Oh yes...here's the obligatory "mirror selfie"...I had to add another pic below this one so I can look back on it and see how ridiculous look...

I don't know why I'm making that face, but it cracks me up every time I look at it...

Yup, this is not a good look...